May 2013
8 posts
1 tag
May 23rd
9 notes
3 tags
May 22nd
7 notes
My fiancee, Nicole, hired a male stripper for her...
The very best part of the event was when the “entertainer” texted Nicole to tell her he had a hard deadline to meet and that he had to be finished dancing by no later than 4:45PM because he had to make his graduation from Arizona State.  To be honest, I wish I would have thought of this during college, then I wouldn’t be sitting on about 10k worth of student loan debt.
May 13th
12 notes
May 8th
7,887 notes
May 5th
12 notes
3 tags
May 4th
12 notes
May 3rd
13 notes
May 3rd
91 notes
April 2013
15 posts
2 tags
Apr 25th
10 notes
3 tags
So a few of my friends made an event page for my...
This one brings back a lot of memories:
Apr 24th
12 notes
2 tags
If you told me ten years ago that I'd be getting...
Yet here I am….
Apr 18th
37 notes
3 tags
Apr 14th
3 notes
2 tags
Apr 13th
10 notes
Apr 12th
10 notes
2 tags
Apr 11th
12 notes
4 tags
Apr 11th
5 notes
3 tags
Apr 11th
4 notes
4 tags
Apr 10th
8 notes
2 tags
Apr 8th
5 notes
2 tags
Apr 7th
3 notes
Apr 7th
10 notes
3 tags
Apr 5th
1 note
Apr 4th
7 notes
March 2013
3 posts
Mar 30th
9 notes
Mar 30th
10 notes
3 tags
Mar 10th
February 2013
6 posts
1 tag
Feb 17th
8 notes
1 tag
Feb 17th
9 notes
1 tag
Feb 8th
13 notes
4 tags
Feb 3rd
15 notes
2 tags
Why do people still have car alarms? It’s the only thing I hate about living on 4th ave. IBTs dance music thumps thru my windows every night of the week and it’s a god damn lullaby compared to car alarms. No one responds to your fucking car alarm. I hear one every night and my initial and only reaction is that I want to bash in your skull for thinking anyone gives a shit about your...
Feb 2nd
5 notes
1 tag
If my life were an episode of the worst sitcom on...
Nicole: What are you doing, Paul? Me: Oh, just playing ‘Skyrim’. {audience erupts with laughter for reasons we have yet to ascertain} Nicole: What do you do in ‘Skyrim’? Me: You can, like, slay dragons and kill draugs in this place called Tamriel. {audience is laughing so hard you can hear some of them vomiting} Nicole: That’s SOOOO nerdy! {audience still laughing,...
Feb 2nd
12 notes
Feb 1st
2 notes
January 2013
3 posts
3 tags
Jan 16th
12 notes
Jan 9th
2 notes
December 2012
9 posts
2 tags
Dec 25th
15 notes
2 tags
Dec 23rd
5 notes
2 tags
Dec 23rd
10 notes
1 tag
Dec 22nd
14 notes
Dec 14th
499 notes
3 tags
Dec 12th
9 notes
3 tags
Dec 9th
7 notes
2 tags
Dec 8th
8 notes
Dec 8th
8,699 notes
November 2012
8 posts
3 tags
Nov 28th
1 note
2 tags
Nov 15th
16 notes
2 tags
Nov 12th
12 notes
Nov 9th
4,029 notes
Nov 8th
67 notes
“What’s to keep somebody from getting all potted up on weed and getting behind...”
– Steve Doocy, talking about Colorado voting to legalize marijuana. Attention everyone. I will now be referring to smoking pot exclusively as “getting all potted up”. Please adjust your schedules accordingly. (via hammerito)
Nov 7th
158 notes